Tuesday, October 4, 2011
ADHD Awareness Week Expo 2011
Join in the fun with others, learn, chat and expand your ADD/ADHD awareness during ADHD awareness week from October 16-22, 2011.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Getting beyond upbringing and achieving excellence
I know a lot of people, who have grown up with inadequate parenting, myself included. While my mom is a fantastic mother and I wouldn't trade her in for ANYONE else, but my experience with my father and other male family members has been unpleasant to say the least. I missed out on having the fatherly input into my life I seemed to need and sometimes still feel this need. My father was the most severe epileptic I have ever known, he had some many insults to his brain and nervous system, he probably had some mood related issues, possibly ADHD, and was essentially a double genius. We suspected he had Multiple personality disorder as well. He was born breech, he survived the German Measles, Polio and I believe Encephalitis all before the age of 5 years old. Two weeks after my parents got married he had a severe seizure, hitting his head hard on the driveway, sustained has basaler skull fracture. The result was he sustained serious brain damage that also in turn made his epilepsy go out of control. He was deep down a really a great man, he was loving, a great listener, professional quality golfer, naturally respected women as equals, and had all the wonderful characteristics that is stereotypically accused of being a ''gay'' men, but was straight. He tried to be a great father when he could, but as his epilepsy and brain damage got progressively worse and as the polio caught up with him in his 40's, and as he deteriorated he became more abusive. He was far more abusive to my brother Nathan than me. Although I did experience moderate to severe verbal-sexual abuse from him. I also lost opportunity as he deteriorated to have a good father-daughter relationship, having the opportunity for him to cheer me on. It was tough to experience the abuse and watch a really great man be robbed of the chance to express his true nature. It took me along time to heal, but I have and continue to heal. I even come to the point where I feel more compassion for my father. I imagine him in his right mind in heaven, watching me and is so proud of me. I share similar brain physiology to his and how I honor him and his genetics, is to used the genes he passed on to me and transform them into a beautiful masterpiece. I take my ADD meds and my mood related meds, I strive to overcome and make a difference in this world. I have friends, professors, and professional supports who are male with similar traits to my father and allow them to help me heal that void that my father was unable to do himself.
To my father, my dad Greg Gogstetter: I forgive you and I love you. I know Nathan and I will and do make you proud.
To my mother: thank you for the wonderful job you did in raising all three of your kids. Thank you for being the unending support and nag. Thank you for being you. I love you so much.
To Nathan: Thanks for being a wonderful brother, for supporting me and mom through the years. Thank you for never giving up on us. Thank you for being you. I love you. Good Luck with the job and you education. I am proud of you.
To my Cousin Shelley: Thank you for becoming part of my family and supporting us through the thick and thin. I am also very proud of you for being a beautiful role model to many young and not so young, but strong women. Thank you for teaching me that there is no shame in being diagnosed with psychiatric disorders and your unending support and forgiveness to the round table gang and to all who love you. You are as cool as Ada May and Edna Pope were or are. I love you very much and pray for you. Thank you for teaching me to appreciate re-entry students and long-term challenged students. Keep up the great work. I'm proud of you Cousin.
To all my friends, family, and other readers: Thank you for being in my life and making it more interesting.
....enough of my cognitive hyperactivity and my hypergraphia. ENJOY!
To my father, my dad Greg Gogstetter: I forgive you and I love you. I know Nathan and I will and do make you proud.
To my mother: thank you for the wonderful job you did in raising all three of your kids. Thank you for being the unending support and nag. Thank you for being you. I love you so much.
To Nathan: Thanks for being a wonderful brother, for supporting me and mom through the years. Thank you for never giving up on us. Thank you for being you. I love you. Good Luck with the job and you education. I am proud of you.
To my Cousin Shelley: Thank you for becoming part of my family and supporting us through the thick and thin. I am also very proud of you for being a beautiful role model to many young and not so young, but strong women. Thank you for teaching me that there is no shame in being diagnosed with psychiatric disorders and your unending support and forgiveness to the round table gang and to all who love you. You are as cool as Ada May and Edna Pope were or are. I love you very much and pray for you. Thank you for teaching me to appreciate re-entry students and long-term challenged students. Keep up the great work. I'm proud of you Cousin.
To all my friends, family, and other readers: Thank you for being in my life and making it more interesting.
....enough of my cognitive hyperactivity and my hypergraphia. ENJOY!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
"NOT A THROUGH STREET''
For many years in my life i always get confused by the traffic signs that read ''NOT A THROUGH STREET''. The word Through can be defined two ways.
I think 4 little letters "ADHD" and it's paradoxes and mysteries might be part of it. While I can take all those biology classes , neuroscience classes, physics and math, psychology, and history, yet I can't read a SIMPLE sign? The funny thing is I did finally figured it out, it just took me 14 years. How many other ''simple'' things that I(we) miss?
"Simple'' is some times uninteresting. Sometimes we are contemplating our dreams, fantasies, the things we learned in class, or thinking about how we want to write that poem, how we want to write that computer program, book, blog, novel or what ever pulls our curiosity, interest and creativity. Something new, complex, different that we can create and leave behind in this world. Finding our own way through our journeys. We keep exploring, engineering, connecting, growing, learning, making a difference until we are through with our time on this planet.
- finished: I am through with my cup.
- to pass through : I went through hell and back.
I think 4 little letters "ADHD" and it's paradoxes and mysteries might be part of it. While I can take all those biology classes , neuroscience classes, physics and math, psychology, and history, yet I can't read a SIMPLE sign? The funny thing is I did finally figured it out, it just took me 14 years. How many other ''simple'' things that I(we) miss?
"Simple'' is some times uninteresting. Sometimes we are contemplating our dreams, fantasies, the things we learned in class, or thinking about how we want to write that poem, how we want to write that computer program, book, blog, novel or what ever pulls our curiosity, interest and creativity. Something new, complex, different that we can create and leave behind in this world. Finding our own way through our journeys. We keep exploring, engineering, connecting, growing, learning, making a difference until we are through with our time on this planet.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Failures or Successes? Let's redefine what success in college means!
Is it a tragedy to fail a class in college? I don't really think so. My psychiatrist told me that he failed chemistry his first time around. My physics/math instructor failed several classes along the way, but he repeated those classes and still managed to get his masters degree. My friend, who has severe cerebral palsy and severe dyslexia, had to repeat a few college classes. Yet, she still managed to get her bachelor's degree. I heard Winston Churchill failed his first English class, and yet I believe he went on to be a great speaker and writer. Many re-entry students may have a staggered academic record, yet when they return to college, often via a community college and transfer to 4 year college/university, they get their bachelor degrees and possibly their graduate/professional degrees.
I have gone to college with a wide range of students, some have passed every class on the first try and some haven't. Some graduate miraculously with their AA/AS degrees in 2 years and bachelor's in 4 years. Being able to get through depends on several factors including major, family responsibilities, working, any physical, psychiatric, and/or learning challenges a person might have, their age, and the level of support, strength, courage, and tenacity that person possesses.
At a recent college graduation, where the graduates ranged from 18 years old to 73 years old. I grant you that it is a junior college, but majority of the graduates were transfering to various universities in California. The transfers varied widely and 2-3 students were transferring to Standford University, several were transferring to every University of California universities and several California State University universities. What I appreciated was that they had a re-entry student scholar award as well as the other awards.
Let's help people change their idea as to what it means to succeed in college, and help them realize that it's never too late to pursue your dreams. I have several friends, who started college in their late 30's and now have their AA degrees, their bachelor's degrees and some have also entered graduate school. I also know 2 students, who started at a younger age, but because of learning disabilities and/or ADHD (as well as other psychiatric disorders) have taken longer to earn their degrees. But you know all these people I mentioned have persevered and continue to persevere no matter what. We don't let our challenges, our college marks, or our age to stop us from succeeding. Yes these hurdles come with their pain and yes it is tough to keep trying. Yes it is sometimes to difficult to find the strength, courage, and hope to keep pursuing in the face of what some people say is "bad" or when people tell us "see you can't do it" or tell us we are "failures". However, we manage to find it within us somewhere. We know we have each other to support us. We know deep down that we are smart enough, we know we have something to offer this world, we know there is something that we are called to do.
These are some of the people I want to help as a ADHD/life coach. I want to see these students succeed. I want to see these students get the support they need. I see this group of students underrepresented in the ADD/ADHD literature. I see them underrepresented by coaches. I see them underrepresented by mental health professionals. Yet I see very capable people, who get very worn out by there tenacious drive. They are more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, aggravated/taxed executive function, ADHD and learning differences. What ever systems in their bodies are most vulnerable to wear and tear from stress and over working can break down. Yet a lot of them still make it through and succeed. They are the ones getting some support. The ones who aren't getting any support, encouragement, and tools to reduce the stress and make life manageable don't always go as far as they dreamed of.
It doesn't have to be this way. We need to look at the struggles and challenges that these students, ie. re-entry students and the ones who take longer to get through, and work to understand what supports they need to help them succeed.
Most of the information on ADHD, learning disorders and other challenges are directed at parents of high schoolers transitioning into college. Usually these students have parents to pay for college, housing, and other essentials. Yes those kids need that type of support, although I believe it would be more helpful to start prepping these kids at 13 rather than 18. However, the group of students I mentioned don't have this parental support. The re-entry and perseverant students, whether ADHD or not, have other challenges. We may have kids (some of which may have challenges of their own), significant others, aging parents, they maybe single parents. They may probably have rent to pay, bills to pay, kids' schedules to keep track of, their own schedule to contend with, work, and if they squeeze any more energy out of themselves, they study and do a few extracurricular activities. They may not be getting enough sleep, good nutrition, self care and so forth.
I know I got on my soapbox about this topic, but I have brought it up before and keep getting resources designed for younger, traditional age students. I think re-entry students and longstanding/perseverant students have some different challenges to face. We need to look at what we can do to help these mature, tenacious students feel equal to the traditional students. Besides the ADDed benefit of having older college students around is that they can actually serve as great role models for the younger, more traditional students. Plus they ADD the benefit of life experience and diversity of the college community. Let's also cheer them on more.
I have gone to college with a wide range of students, some have passed every class on the first try and some haven't. Some graduate miraculously with their AA/AS degrees in 2 years and bachelor's in 4 years. Being able to get through depends on several factors including major, family responsibilities, working, any physical, psychiatric, and/or learning challenges a person might have, their age, and the level of support, strength, courage, and tenacity that person possesses.
At a recent college graduation, where the graduates ranged from 18 years old to 73 years old. I grant you that it is a junior college, but majority of the graduates were transfering to various universities in California. The transfers varied widely and 2-3 students were transferring to Standford University, several were transferring to every University of California universities and several California State University universities. What I appreciated was that they had a re-entry student scholar award as well as the other awards.
Let's help people change their idea as to what it means to succeed in college, and help them realize that it's never too late to pursue your dreams. I have several friends, who started college in their late 30's and now have their AA degrees, their bachelor's degrees and some have also entered graduate school. I also know 2 students, who started at a younger age, but because of learning disabilities and/or ADHD (as well as other psychiatric disorders) have taken longer to earn their degrees. But you know all these people I mentioned have persevered and continue to persevere no matter what. We don't let our challenges, our college marks, or our age to stop us from succeeding. Yes these hurdles come with their pain and yes it is tough to keep trying. Yes it is sometimes to difficult to find the strength, courage, and hope to keep pursuing in the face of what some people say is "bad" or when people tell us "see you can't do it" or tell us we are "failures". However, we manage to find it within us somewhere. We know we have each other to support us. We know deep down that we are smart enough, we know we have something to offer this world, we know there is something that we are called to do.
These are some of the people I want to help as a ADHD/life coach. I want to see these students succeed. I want to see these students get the support they need. I see this group of students underrepresented in the ADD/ADHD literature. I see them underrepresented by coaches. I see them underrepresented by mental health professionals. Yet I see very capable people, who get very worn out by there tenacious drive. They are more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, aggravated/taxed executive function, ADHD and learning differences. What ever systems in their bodies are most vulnerable to wear and tear from stress and over working can break down. Yet a lot of them still make it through and succeed. They are the ones getting some support. The ones who aren't getting any support, encouragement, and tools to reduce the stress and make life manageable don't always go as far as they dreamed of.
It doesn't have to be this way. We need to look at the struggles and challenges that these students, ie. re-entry students and the ones who take longer to get through, and work to understand what supports they need to help them succeed.
Most of the information on ADHD, learning disorders and other challenges are directed at parents of high schoolers transitioning into college. Usually these students have parents to pay for college, housing, and other essentials. Yes those kids need that type of support, although I believe it would be more helpful to start prepping these kids at 13 rather than 18. However, the group of students I mentioned don't have this parental support. The re-entry and perseverant students, whether ADHD or not, have other challenges. We may have kids (some of which may have challenges of their own), significant others, aging parents, they maybe single parents. They may probably have rent to pay, bills to pay, kids' schedules to keep track of, their own schedule to contend with, work, and if they squeeze any more energy out of themselves, they study and do a few extracurricular activities. They may not be getting enough sleep, good nutrition, self care and so forth.
I know I got on my soapbox about this topic, but I have brought it up before and keep getting resources designed for younger, traditional age students. I think re-entry students and longstanding/perseverant students have some different challenges to face. We need to look at what we can do to help these mature, tenacious students feel equal to the traditional students. Besides the ADDed benefit of having older college students around is that they can actually serve as great role models for the younger, more traditional students. Plus they ADD the benefit of life experience and diversity of the college community. Let's also cheer them on more.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Achievers and self-care
May 27, 2011 I went to a friend's graduation. The theme of the speeches given revolved around self-care and taking time out to relax occasionally. It is frequently an issue with high achievers to neglect themselves to there own detriment. They might get away with it for a season, but eventually catches up with them. They start getting sick both physically and mentally, it takes longer to recover and many times they still keep pushing with out taking a breather. Also, if you don't practice good self-care, you can end up depleted of resources and unable to be as effective at doing what ever it is you're trying to do.
Be sure to eat healthily, use all-nighters sparingly, try to get 10-15 minutes of me time a day, and get what ever exercise you can squeeze in to your schedule. Make sure you learn some adaptive stress management strategies, don't ignore signals your body may be giving you such as hunger, difficulty getting to sleep or waking up, thirst, and so forth. Consider getting a life coach or an ADHD coach to help you manage your time and your life a little more easily. Be sure to squeeze a little bit of time with your friends if possible. Learn when to get help or support in areas of difficulty or lesser interest. Learn what your strengths and talents are so that you can capitalize on them and free up time and energy for other things.
I have collapsed several times with pneumonia, ear infections, depression and found myself depleted on several occasions before I learned this lesson. I now make a point to take better care of myself, treat myself in a loving way, to get out with friends or at least talk to someone on facebook in a pinch, and make sure I give my body what it needs. I try to get enough sleep as often as I can, I make sure I don't let my hunger turn into low blood sugar (most of the time), drink plenty of water, and so forth.
I find these things more or less help me to more focused, more involved with my friends and family, help my mood, my asthma, my immune system, and my overall health. I have looked at making the most of what I have and making the best contribution I can to my community as I can.
Do you have any suggestions or ideas about how high achievers can take time to take care of themselves? And I don't just mean people, who are academically high achievers. I am also talking about people, who are high achievers in work and/or helping to make this world a better place.
Be sure to eat healthily, use all-nighters sparingly, try to get 10-15 minutes of me time a day, and get what ever exercise you can squeeze in to your schedule. Make sure you learn some adaptive stress management strategies, don't ignore signals your body may be giving you such as hunger, difficulty getting to sleep or waking up, thirst, and so forth. Consider getting a life coach or an ADHD coach to help you manage your time and your life a little more easily. Be sure to squeeze a little bit of time with your friends if possible. Learn when to get help or support in areas of difficulty or lesser interest. Learn what your strengths and talents are so that you can capitalize on them and free up time and energy for other things.
I have collapsed several times with pneumonia, ear infections, depression and found myself depleted on several occasions before I learned this lesson. I now make a point to take better care of myself, treat myself in a loving way, to get out with friends or at least talk to someone on facebook in a pinch, and make sure I give my body what it needs. I try to get enough sleep as often as I can, I make sure I don't let my hunger turn into low blood sugar (most of the time), drink plenty of water, and so forth.
I find these things more or less help me to more focused, more involved with my friends and family, help my mood, my asthma, my immune system, and my overall health. I have looked at making the most of what I have and making the best contribution I can to my community as I can.
Do you have any suggestions or ideas about how high achievers can take time to take care of themselves? And I don't just mean people, who are academically high achievers. I am also talking about people, who are high achievers in work and/or helping to make this world a better place.
Friday, May 13, 2011
how to break the comparison game
Well first of I stopped the comparison game along time ago. I did this by stepping back, pausing, and asking myself: what specifically is it about this person I truly admire? How can I develop this trait or characteristic in a way that works for me?
Those of us with ADDult ADD/ADHD, need to beware of the comparison game that can crush our self-esteem. If you can't stop comparing your self with others, turn it around like I did. But also keep in mind these people aren't you and they don't face the same challenges as you, and realize that they might have challenges in areas you don't. We all have different genetics, different bodies, different personalities, different brains, different challenges, talents and strengths in different areas. It is in our differences we get insights and ideas, it is in our collective differences and similarities that we can solve this puzzle that we call life.
This blog post was inspired by an article on ADDitude Magazine's website blog. The following link,
Facebook, Self-esteem, and Adult ADD ADHD, allows you to go read the original article.
I challenge those, who read this blog and the article to ask themselves this: What trait/characteristic to I admire about this person? How can I apply this idea in an ADD/ADHD friendly manner, without beating myself up or forgetting who I really am?
Those of us with ADDult ADD/ADHD, need to beware of the comparison game that can crush our self-esteem. If you can't stop comparing your self with others, turn it around like I did. But also keep in mind these people aren't you and they don't face the same challenges as you, and realize that they might have challenges in areas you don't. We all have different genetics, different bodies, different personalities, different brains, different challenges, talents and strengths in different areas. It is in our differences we get insights and ideas, it is in our collective differences and similarities that we can solve this puzzle that we call life.
This blog post was inspired by an article on ADDitude Magazine's website blog. The following link,
Facebook, Self-esteem, and Adult ADD ADHD, allows you to go read the original article.
I challenge those, who read this blog and the article to ask themselves this: What trait/characteristic to I admire about this person? How can I apply this idea in an ADD/ADHD friendly manner, without beating myself up or forgetting who I really am?
Friday, April 22, 2011
RAMBUNCTIOUS IN KINDERGARTEN and COLLEGE
I know ADHD is a real disorder, I know that it is overdiagnosed, underdiagnosed, misdiagnosed and really poorly misunderstood. I know we have come a long way in understanding it and getting "better" and "worse" recognizing it. But do people truly know what it means to be a kid anymore? Most kids are rambunctious when they are young. Why is school set up so that kids can't move or wiggle? I am 32 years old and I still can't sit still in class or totally shut up. How many adults do you know can truly sit still let alone kids? I mean if you think about it, wiggling keeps your blood moving and pumping more than when you sit still. If we have to sit still all the time except when we exercise, do we wonder why people have trouble transitioning? Those kids and adults who fidget tend to be more alert and seem to transition to exercise and other activities better? I am in college and I still wiggle, fidget, talk in class, get distracted and what not. While I like to sit directly in front in class, I find that I wiggle to much and tend to sprawl my stuff out on multiple desks and chairs. my area in class looks like a tornado, but I take all my stuff with me 99.9999% of the time. I take notes in class in color, I have my digital recorder out, I have my books, I have my pens, paper, backpack. I used to get frustrated with this until I realized I am always going to make a mess in class. At least I clean it all up when I am done. I guess I channel my need to fidget into my note taking and reading textbooks and doing my homework. I channel my incessant talking into participating in class and/or interact with the instructor on some level.
Not everyone with ADHD is externally rambunctious. Some of the daydreamers are rambunctious internally, but outwardly never bother anyone. Or they might be fidgeting with a pencil or their hair, but not running around the classroom driving everyone nuts. And some of us are eternally rambunctious or at least it seems that way to me. Albeit, the manifestation of that rambunctiousness might change it's expression. but it is almost always their. Never hold still, keep moving and keep fidgeting. It is good for the brain and good for the kid in you.
Not everyone with ADHD is externally rambunctious. Some of the daydreamers are rambunctious internally, but outwardly never bother anyone. Or they might be fidgeting with a pencil or their hair, but not running around the classroom driving everyone nuts. And some of us are eternally rambunctious or at least it seems that way to me. Albeit, the manifestation of that rambunctiousness might change it's expression. but it is almost always their. Never hold still, keep moving and keep fidgeting. It is good for the brain and good for the kid in you.
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